In the recent weeks, I tried to hold my world. I thought my hand is big enough I hugged everything cause I don’t want to lose them, or miss anything.
There was this small gap between my fingers, everything I was holding on slowly slipped away, some of it ran through the crack.
I did everything I can to re-gather the loosen parts. I still thought I got the hang of it. But instead of ‘having it all’ figured out, I ended up screw the (mostly) whole things.
Being expressive and all that, maybe any of you kinda see that lately my posts were not really long and kinda sad/trying to look optimist. Yes. I’ve been in this “i think i fail the whole thing” phase, I tried to tell myself to ‘get over it’ but i didn’t really nailed that.
Even the past days, I felt worst.
But today, I wake up and slowly walk around the neighbourhood. Yes, the past few weeks were literally crazy ride. It was and it is. But hey, I’m still here.
I close my eyes and do this long breath. I kinda hear a tiny voice inside my head. It’s singing a song I barely hear. It sings in lowest volume but it’s there. It gives me hope in a way i can’t explain. All i know suddenly i feel, well, i know closure is going my way. I’m going to be okay soon.
Yeah. I’m going to be just fine, eventually.
This post is, yes, a #confide.